Friday, April 23, 2010

What happens after the list is completed

Everyone loves a list. Crossing things off is satisfying, but so is encapsulating all your tasks. It organizes the mind and refreshes the soul. It's logical and sooooothing. But what happens after, when it's all crossed off?

I've had a huge great list of things to do for Edgars Week and Malice Domestic, and, well, now the list is letting me down. The dress has been hemmed, strategic undergarments acquired, the shoes chosen (finally!), tickets purchased, plans made, lists of lists compiled, etc. What isn't done, either isn't germane or can be completed today. Even packing this weekend, I'll have plenty of spare time, which is exactly what I don't want.

Let's face it: excited and nervous doesn't begin to cover it. I'm humming like a coked-up chinchilla (and no, you may not ask how I know). I know I should be calm—what will be, will be, right?--but I think you'd have to be made of stone not to be excited about an Edgar and an Agatha nomination, and I'm no stone. Scratch that: even stone gets excited sometimes. Just ask Eyjafjallajokull.

Then an email comes: it's from Toni, we're traveling down to NYC together. That will be fun! Then other emails follow, plans are hatched, stratagems contrived, and suddenly, I remember I'll be surrounded with friends, people I look forward to hanging with at every conference. Is there room among the shoes and dresses for Miss Lillian? For bourbon and puppies, shotguns and sock puppets? You bet!

Will I be disappointed if I don't win an award? Sure (remember: not stone), but I'll also remember the company of nominees and how honored I am to be among them. This is a truly wonderful time for me. But until I know one way or another, trust me. My heart will be beating like a tweaked-out chipmunk listening to “Radio Free Europe” on 78 rpm.

(for a list of where I'll be, check here.)


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